50 in 52 Journey

It has been a long time since I have written. For some of you who signed up for the RSS feed you must have been shocked to see this entry come through. It is not that I have not been working on the outcome of the Journey. I have as a matter of fact been very busy developing curriculum, speaking, creating new videos and doing all I can in the name of the Journey to help launch new community solutions nationwide. I have even begun writing my book and would say I am more than half way through my first draft. But it has been a challenge.

The single most frequently asked question I hear is: How do you feel? I cringe every time it is asked. How do I feel? “I don’t know how I feel” is what I want to answer. I waited to feel. I am not sure what I expected, a rush of excitement, a renewed sense of self, an understanding of the universe to it’s very core of goodness and kind acts towards others? Imagine a blank chalkboard. That’s how I felt. I kept looking at that board and waiting for something to appear. I wanted to feel. I deeply wanted to feel. Yet, as I lay may head down each night and closed my eyes, begging for feeling, all I saw was that blank board.

I had this sensation once before in my life. When I was 17 years old I participated in the second March of the Living. I traveled with a few thousand of my peers to the concentration camp Auschwitz in Poland. When I entered the camp I had a very unsettling case of déjà vu. I was so unsettled that after entering a few of the barracks I could not bring myself to enter any more. As we went around and even stood inside of the still functional gas chambers pain filled my body and my mind and my heart went blank. I remember writing in my journal, “everyone around me is crying. Why can’t I cry? Why can’t I feel?” I was so overwhelmed with the magnitude of the reality of the place that feeling was not an option. I had to manage my state of mind first and foremost. As an adult looking back I know that I did not allow myself to feel. Each time I returned to the camps in the following years the sensation of déjà vu was the same. As a result there was no safe space for me to allow myself to feel.

I can almost understand fearing allowing myself to feel as it relates to Auschwitz. What I could not wrap my head around was this same emptiness as it relates to the Journey. I know looking back on the days of frantic preparation and the whirlwind that was each week in a new state that I underestimated the impact each new person I met would have on my life. I looked at it, as a dear friend of mine would say, as project management. I had to get through each state, collect and share amazing stories with you, take care of two beautiful growing children, a boyfriend - now fiancé, Michael - and his teenager who also needed and deserved love and attention. I forgot to program in time to feel.

Last night I sat down with Michael as he was going through the raw footage of my interview of Ma’o Tosi of Anchorage, Alaska. We are editing it down for use with a lesson plan to help others learn about Alaska, about tough choices and to be inspired by one man’s outright care and concern which led him to take action for Anchorage’s youth.

As I watched I remembered and felt every minute of that day. From hearing about Ma’o from my seat-mate on the flight to Anchorage (and the crazy unscheduled pit stop/plane change we made along the way), to my absolute amazement when she followed through and texted me his phone number only to be topped by my astonishment when Ma’o answerd my call and offered to pick me up in the grocery store parking lot and spend the day with me. Sounds crazy and surreal, right? This was par for the course along my Journey.

(Interesting aside: I just looked it up and as I write to you it is exactly one year to the day since I headed off to Alaska to meet Ma’o.)

Listening to Ma’o’s words emanate from the computer my heart began to fill again. This morning, as we sat at a local eatery and I discussed the technical specs of moving forward on our new editing system donated to us by Avid, it hit me. “What an unbelievable experience I had.” I stated to Michael like it was the first time I ever thought about.

Seems like a crazy thing to say, and certainly I’ve said it before. However, this morning, for the first time, as I said it I felt it. My whole body seemed weighed down by the, up to this point, incomprehensible weight of a Journey that I am just now beginning to feel how it has changed my path and altered my future in ways I still have yet to learn.

I think I am ready to answer the question. Now I am beginning to feel…

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For up to date information about the continued work of the Journey please visit: http://www.journeyinstitute.org. To learn more about what I’ve been up to check out: http://www.dafnam.com

What is it that I need? It is a question that without thinking about it my mind processes hundreds of times a day. What do I need to eat? What do I need to wear? What do I need to do with the children? What do I need to do for my business? What do I need to do for my friends….and on and on it goes each day. Sometimes however that question is a very specific one. This weekend was one of those times.

As a guest of Bob Burg, author of The Go-Giver and many other best selling titles, I attended the Extreme Business Makeover conference in Orlando, Florida. I thought a lot on my way down from Colorado about how I could give value as a guest of the conference. What did I need to do while I was there? As the conference began we found our seats and I whipped out my computer excited to send out on Twitter the pearls of wisdom I learned from the speakers. This was my first time having the opportunity to “tweet” at a conference like this and after my first session I had a very interesting argument going on in my head. (Yes, things do happen in there!)

As a speaker myself, I know the value and importance of being able to connect with your audience. I can gauge how I am doing by the smiles, the laughter and the occasional tear I can glimpse in an audience members eye. I pride myself on being a very active audience member because of this. I listen intently. I clap loudly. I laugh out loud. I know the speaker feeds on it. How, I wondered at the end of the first speaker, did the speaker feel as I was head down focusing on capturing every gem and good quote and sending it out into the ether? Was I doing my job for the speaker? Was I doing what I needed to do I wondered.

At the same time I was reveling in the response I was receiving to my many tweets. My followers were re-tweeting them out to their followers. I received direct messages thanking me for the content, telling me they were desperately trying to capture the many inspirational words of wisdom. Without even being in the room THEY were engaged, glued to their screen for the next bit. It drove me. All of the sudden I felt like I had purpose and that I could add immense value by sharing the speakers words.

I got pretty good at capturing the thoughts and at the end of day two it appeared that I was leading the conference tweeting having sent an astounding (for me) 419 tweets of valuable content to inspire and educate entrepreneurs and “Go-Givers” the twitterverse over.

I may continue to struggle with the lack of my own personal connection with the speakers in the room but I hope they will forgive me as I continue to play the role of micro blogger and share their wisdom. It seems to be, for now, the answer to what I need to do to add value. It is the best honor I feel I can give to both speaker and audience. The more who learn, the more who grow and I relish in the role of conveyer of passion.

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To read the Tweet stream of inspirational tweets by people who have succeeded not only in building business but also community visit Twitter.com and search #XBM

I met Caitlin while I was visiting Arizona on the 50 in 52 Journey. She had opened her home to me to conduct an interview of Debbie Jordan, a woman who has dedicated her life to bringing about the end of poverty as a path to ending war. (http://www.50in52journey.com/states/Arizona1.asp) Caitlin was in the background and I could just sense her energy and passion. It has taken a number of months but at last we have connected. As I got to know her through gmail chat her dedication and energy were palpable through the screen.

What do you think of when you hear the word Peace? For Caitlin it is not a place of blame, or a physical location on the globe, peace begins at home, “in our own backyards” and is perpetuated in every choice we make. I introduce you to a woman who at 9 years old was traumatized into her life’s calling. That calling will no doubt lay a foundation for a better place for each of us to call home.

Caitlin.

Caitlin: Okay!  Here we go!  This is Caitlin B. Flaherty, the Executive Director of the AZ Dept. of Peace Campaign, a local organization set up to assist the national organization, The Peace Alliance, whose mission it is to advocate for the creation of a Cabinet Level of the Executive Branch, U.S. Dept. of Peace.  The Dept. of Peace, in a small nutshell, will research, articulate and facilitate nonviolent solutions to domestic and international conflicts

Dafna: Hi Caitlin!

Thanks for chatting with me today!

Can you tell me how you first got involved in Peace?

Caitlin: As a newsletter subscriber of Marianne Williamson’s, I received a ‘Call to Action’ to go to Washington, DC to learn how to lobby for the creation of a Dept. of Peace.  That was Seven years ago, this month!

Ms. Williamson, a well known national inspirational speaker and teacher of, A Course in Miracles, presented the concept of creating a Dept. that would, in its best and truest form, help to alleviate ALL forms of violence, domestic, animal abuse, school bullying, elderly abuse, etc… Having felt frustrated for so many years that, as one person, how can I afford to make a difference to all the people and groups out there in need?  This seems like the most logical, pragmatic and spiritual approach, as of yet, to be developed in making the biggest impact in society with regard to violence issues.

Dafna: How far back do you remember feeling frustrated or being aware?

Caitlin: Since childhood.  I was VERY young when I witnessed kids bullying an elderly homeless woman on my street.  To this day, that memory is emotionally vivid!

Dafna: Can you tell me a little more about what you saw and how your young mind processed it?

Caitlin: Three kids, 2 boys and one girl, approximately 12 - 14 years of age, were calling her names as she walked down my street, throwing small rocks at her as they followed her to the train station, where she lived in a very small, abandoned home with another woman, possibly her sister.  She began to cry and yelled at them, “Why don’t you leave me alone!” “I’m a human being.  How can you treat me like this.”  I cried and I felt deep shame for not having the courage to step in on her behalf! Something in that moment shifted within me and I ‘KNEW” that my life work had just been revealed to me!

Dafna: How old were you?

Caitlin: About 9

Dafna: Can you point to specific decisions you have made in your life as a result and where you hope it will take you?

Caitlin: Yes!  There are many, LOL!  I no longer ‘hope’ as I’ve personally come to see hope, as well intentioned as it is, to be akin to, ‘wishful’ thinking.  Something outside of me that, by chance, may or may not happen, so I ‘wait’… I believe and know that it is my life purpose to be an active participant in a large movement, I like to call, ‘the peace movement’, who will undoubtedly, one day be the next greatest human rights movement to be achieved.  Knowing that I stood for something positive in my life and the lives of all living things on this planet, just by making better choices in my life, as an individual, on a daily basis, I will die knowing I chose to make a difference and that’s enough for me.  I’m a Peaceful Warrior Foot Soldier!

This movement, as ‘quiet’ as it may appear to those not involved in it, day to day, has been growing exponentially and we’ve identified that it will only be through collaboration of all the peace and nonviolence organizations coming together to work as one, that the reality of a sustainable culture of peace will be possible!

Dafna: Your sense of excitement is palpable in your words!

How have the powers that be responded to a request for a State level peace position?

Caitlin: It’s been mixed, of course!  Initially, the response was dismal.  Ironically, since the war in Afghanistan has been ongoing, we are seeing a surge in support however, it will take some time as we need both parties to be willing to work together and not use worthwhile legislation as a power tool to divide and conquer!

Right now, there is legislation called, The Youth Promise Act, which has passed the House of Representatives and will be or is on its way to the Senate!  this is HUGE for us because of it’s likeness to our bill, HB 808

Dafna: How do you hope this legislation will impact your goals?

Caitlin: The YPA implements the best policy recommendations from crime policy makers, researchers, practitioners, analysts, and law enforcement from across the political spectrum concerning evidence and research-based strategies to reduce gang violence and crime.  these strategies will target young people who are at risk of becoming involved, or who are already involved in, gangs or the criminal justice system to redirect them toward productive and law-abiding alternatives.  THIS legislation is targeting one group of society yet, it’s approach is exactly the same as what we hold for ALL of society.  This bill was much more specific in its financial revelations than our bill, which has been one of the biggest criticisms of ours!

Dafna: What can people at home do to be involved?

Caitlin: There are so many ways for people to be involved  and the beauty of it all is that each person, depending upon their lifestyle, can choose the level of involvement that meets their needs!  The most basic, non intrusive participation that comes to mind as an example would be, sign the petition on-line at Change.Org; write an Op-Ed to your local newspaper in support of the creation of a Dept. of Peace; begin having conversations around violence and the MANY forms it takes and how many of us, unwittingly, perpetuate it in our own lives!  As an example, office gossip sets up a hostile work environment.  Harshly spoken words to our children and spouses sets up dissent, discord and disharmony within our own homes.  Ignoring our neighbors creates a separateness that is fosters disregard for others… violence is much more than a fist in your face!

Caitlin: We would love to have people volunteer at events, help with planning fundraising, be on the board of directors, work with the Student Peace Alliance… There is much that needs to be done.

Dafna: How have you changed since taking on this role?

Caitlin: I have and continue to “clean-up” my own yard (life)!  I have been inspired to examine my own life choices to see where I am contributing in ways that are not promoting nonviolence.  For example, one year ago this month, I became a vegetarian.  After eating fast food three times a day, six days a week and signing animal rights petitions on my computer at night, I came to see some of my choices were based in hypocrisy.  I pay attention to my choice of words so as not to foster violent communication.  I pay attention to my self-talk for that same reason.  I make it a point to look people in the eye and smile at them, for no reason.  The changes have been many and they have changed my life in a way I could not previously conceive to be real!

And, I have a LONG way to go still in my growth but I am very happy to be where I am, today

Dafna: What message would you like for people to take away from this conversation?

Caitlin: In order for world peace to occur, peace MUST begin within, and that is wonderful news for everyone because this means that the biggest impact a person can choose to make in this world is to change themselves; how they show up; make better, life serving choices.  Others, undoubtedly will be inspired to look at themselves and create change within their own lives.  Truly, cleaning up our own backyards is all it takes to being a change agent for peace!  There are many programs that exist out there to assist people in developing the tools needed to clean up their own lives.  “If you want to save the world, start with yourself.”

Dafna: Thank you so much Caitlin!

I can’t wait to see where the work goes

At the end of the day, I believe we all truly want to live in peace.

Caitlin: Thank you, Dafna, for the work you are doing and for choosing to be a change agent for peace!  Your work is inspiring!  Thank you for allowing us to share the work we are doing.  I hope some of your followers are inspired, knowing that work is being done for the greater good!

Dafna: I always love ending a chat with a mutual admiration party! You honor me, with your work and your time! Now, all of us, back to work!! We have  A LOT to do.

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You can find Caitlin: locally (Arizona), caitlinbflaherty@gmail.com or through our national organization, The Peace Alliance, www.thepeacealliance.org for all other local, State Chapters.

When I went to Mississippi on my Journey I met a man whose fight to be truly alive was a fight to bring his love of reading to people who looked like him. He himself admits that “I don’t fit the stereotype of Southern Black men.” His love of reading was what he channeled to bring himself out of a suicidal state of being. He surrounded himself with others who loved books and added value to their experiences with literature.

It was through his recognition that he wanted to be accepted among peers who looked like him that he began his Hip Hop and Books club in 2007. His love for literacy pervades every part of his humanity and he wants to share the books that reach people wherever they are.

The same was true of his relationship with his friend Carl Watts. Carl was a friend who did not read, until Cyrus built a community of readers around rap. I asked Cyrus to chat with me today about his friend who left us quite unexpectedly last week.

Dafna: Cyrus, thanks so much for chatting with me today. I feel we have become good friends since we met in Pearl, MS and I’ve asked you to chat today about a recent post on your wall about a friend you recently lost. Let me first say that I am so sorry for your loss. Would you please share your friends story?

Cyrus: Thank you, Dafna. You know, one saying I try to include in my posts each day is this: ‘YESTERDAY is gone. TOMORROW is not promised. All we have is TODAY.’ In this case, that was how it was for a friend of mine named Carl Watts. He died on last Fri. after suffering a heart attack. He was only 31. We had been together that day preparing for an author visit coming up over the weekend. Two hours later he was gone.

Dafna: How did you meet Carl?

Cyrus: That is a strange story in itself. We practically lived less than 10 miles away from each other most of my life, however, we didn’t really get to know each other well until about 4 years ago. My first cousin was killed in a car accident at that time, and Carl and him were good friends. Carl then started taking to me because the two of them did music together, and he knew I worked with my cousin in promoting his music. It was just like that. From that point onward we wouldn’t go 2 days without talking to each other.

Dafna: What was Carl’s involvement in your Conversations Book Club?

Cyrus: Funny you should ask, Dafna. Carl was not involved in the book club or books period until I began the urban division called HIP HOP AND BOOKS in 2007. That was when a great deal of those in the hip hop community in Mississippi and LA started to watch what we were doing and begin to participate. That book club got him to reading. In fact, if you look at his last post on his Facebook before he passed, he was talking about the book he was reading by an author he met in 2008 who was coming back in April of this year.

Dafna: Tell me about that. What was the impetus to start that group?

Cyrus: Well, it’s no secret that I don’t fit the stereotype of most southern black men. I had to deal with that from blacks and others. The urban community was leery of me because I looked and talked so different, but I knew that they could benefit from books they could relate to. In order to get their trust and attention, I had to reach out to someone in that community that believed in what I was doing that could also encourage others. That person was Corey “C-Murder” Miller, whose book DEATH AROUND THE CORNER had been published in Dec. 2006. He and I became friends and he brought me on board with his team to handle his PR. I then started to use him to get others to see that no matter what you look like or come from, books can unify all of us. That was really the beginning of my “street cred.” Books did that.

Dafna: How did you meet C-Murder?

Cyrus: Another funny story. I had been told about his book, but like many I judged him initially and said that it was probably just another rapper’s attempt to make money, not really to educate. Boy was I wrong. The book resonated with me on many levels. I emailed him on Myspace, and he contacted me the very next day. Less than a month later we were having regular phone conversations.

Dafna: Did Carl connect with this group right from the beginning?

Cyrus: Not at first. It wasn’t until we were able to bring C-Murder to Mississippi and have him talk about his book, the importance of reading and what books had done for him that people like Carl took notice. After that, Carl began to ask me about other books like Cee’s that he might be interested in. Like I told you during your visit with us in Pearl, Dafna, I think it is our responsibility to find people’s interest and feed it. That is what we had to do with Hip Hop and Books if we wanted to get some in the urban community reading.

Dafna: Describe Carl, what did he love, what was his passion, how did reading change him?

Cyrus: Carl was a true survivor. The odds were against him in many ways. He stuttered, developed kidney trouble and even had seizures, but music was his passion and he pursued it. In fact, when he rapped, you would never know of the speech impediment. It was as if his music was his first language.

I think reading showed him that you don’t have to be a one-note. He saw other rappers doing something different: similar to what athletes do—- diversify. He and I talked about that a lot. In fact, the day he passed, I told him that he needed to write his story.

I have found out since his death that his family didn’t know half of what he had accomplished or done with his music and pursuing his dream. In fact, Dafna, on Tues. they asked me to be a part of the eulogy at the funeral to tell people about what his life was like over the past few years.

Dafna: That must have been very challenging for you.

Cyrus: The truth is I didn’t want to do it. I’m not good around people showing a lot of emotion, Dafna. Because of my own challenges, I have hardened myself to a degree where I don’t let things really get to me. It’s hard, though, to see others grieve, and so though I was going to be at the funeral, I had no intention of saying anything.

What changed my mind, though, was the fact that it would be a disservice to those in attendance not to know the full man. They didn’t know his whole truth, and I think that is important to see him for what he has achieved.

Dafna: What would you like Carl to be remembered for?

Cyrus: As someone who made the most out of each day. A man who wanted something better for himself who wasn’t going to allow others and his own shortcomings to stop him. That is the Carl Watts I got to know.

Dafna: What did you want him to write about in his book?

Cyrus: His journey. How his physical ailments had stumped him but not stopped him. I wanted others to know that he was a father who loved his daughter and his family. He lost his mother the week before Thanksgiving in 2009, and that was his biggest fan.

I wanted others to know that he also had fans who loved him for his music.

Dafna: Will you consider writing his story?

Cyrus: Hmm. Dafna, that is something I have not thought about, but now you’ve put it in my mind. I wouldn’t rule it out.

Dafna: What would his family want others to know about Carl?

Cyrus: I think that he was a father, a son, a sibling and friend.

Dafna: How did Carl change you, Cyrus?

Cyrus: He showed me that you can do whatever you want to— all you have to do is believe.

Dafna: What do you want people to take a way from this chat?

Cyrus: I think the most important thing is to not judge a book by its cover. Just because you think someone doesn’t have something in common with you, doesn’t mean you can’t work together to make a difference. That is what Carl and I tried to do.

Dafna: Thank you Cyrus for sharing about Carl. I think many can find strength through knowing about his life. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Cyrus: Thank you, Dafna, for the great opportunity. Continued success to you, and to your readers, I hope they will take advantage of every opportunity to make a difference in the world around them.

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You can learn more about Cyrus by watching the video interview I conducted with him here: http://www.50in52journey.com/states/Mississippi1.asp And please visit www.cyruswebb.com. There you will find Cyrus’s most recent articles, book reviews,etc.

How many times have you seen a homeless person on the street and asked yourself how many steps removed you are from being in the same position? Or alternatively have you wondered how it could be that they would end up like that? Or are you facing the same situation yourself and wondering where to go next?

It is certainly not a light topic of conversation but for Scot More the experience changed his path and led him to work his life’s passion.

My chat with Scot:

Dafna: Hi Scot! I am so excited to meet you today. Jessica Dally of the Seattle Free School told me about you and well…now it’s time to share you. Can you start by telling me how you would describe yourself as a person?

Scot: My name is Scot Alan More and yes I am as unique as the spelling of my name. My work is to END Homelessness, but my Passion is to remove barriers for peeps who do not have a voice.

I found my “Passion” during my episode of being homeless in 2001. It was HARD to ask for my needs and HARD to access services. I use my experience to help others

Dafna: May I ask you about your episode?

Scot: Sure. In one month, i lost my job, husband and health insurance after a three month stay in the hospital. I have been HIV since Oct of 1989 and have had several episodes of illness, healthy as a HORSE today!!!

Dafna: So glad you are healthy but what a run!

Scot: Yea, you can’t keep this mouth shut!!! LOLOL

Dafna: What were the steps you took to get help?

Scot: AIDS Foundation of Houston (AFH) took me into their housing program for those homeless with HIV/AIDS. The program is called PLR, Project Life Roads. This was a YEAR program and this is how I found my job today at The Coalition for the Homeless of Houston/Harris County. I have been here since.

Dafna: How did they find you/you find them?

Scot: They found me thru my Community Voice Mail number my CVM # (and a few sweaters) was all I had to my name, and it was FREE!!!!

Dafna: If I may, what was the first moment of realizing you were homeless like and how did you get connected with the sweaters and VM? Who helped you?

Scot: I will NEVER forget that moment.

It was when I called a friend of mine from the hospital and gave him the keys to my apartment and told him to give away all my stuff!!! I had ZERO money and NO chance for employment. I thought this was the end. I found my CVM # thru AFH when I entered their program.

EVERYTHING has been uphill since then. I attribute my health to the support that has been so freely given to me and NOT the medications!!!! Medications is NOT a CURE!!!!

Dafna: Wow Scot! Thank goodness for your health! Who told you about AFH?

Scot: Freinds: AFH has been in Houston for many years and still is doing an AWESOME job !

Dafna: Good to know! How do people who need AFH find them?

Scot: Mostly thru medical and social service providers, but also thru word of mouth. Sometimes if you tell someone homeless news, its FASTER than social networking!!!! Of course Broadcast messaging HELPS with getting the word out on the street!!!

Dafna: Is there a number or website?

Scot: 713-623-6796 www.afhouston.org

Dafna: What were you doing professionally before you found yourself unmarried, uninsured and homeless?

Scot: AH working as a store manager for Starbucks!!!! The job was WAY too stressful for my health. Working 80 hours a week and having AIDS DO NOT mix!

Dafna: Had you ever envisioned yourself doing what the kind of work you do today?

Scot: NEVER!!!! I LOVE MY WORK! I can not imagine doing anything else. Before I was working to make others money, now I am able to actually make a social change.

Dafna: What had you dreamed of as you were planning your future?

Scot: Having a nice home with a husband and 3 dogs!!!! And a comfortable salary! Now I am HAPPY to be single in a small one room apartment. Working class poor.

Dafna: Your dreams today?

Scot: To make as many changes for the better before I stop breathing. I truly believe that we can END homelessness. I also believe that there is a cure for AIDS. We need sweeping legal changes in many many areas around our youth.

I can go on and on…

Dafna: What are the impacts you have been able to make bringing this end in sight with your community?

Scot: MORE PERMANENT HOUSING!!! Developed Homeless Court with the city of Houston, working on changing laws to protect our throw-away youth, raise the education for our Transgender sisters and brothers, working on healthcare reform (we will NEVER END homelessness without healthcare reform!!!).

A 10 year plan to END homelessness means nothing without systems change. I am privileged to be a part of this change.

Dafna: How do you give a person who is homeless a voice in this process, not only healthcare, but court, education etc…?

Scot: I include my 2,100 CVM clients in on surveys, focus groups and information on how to empower themselves. Many are friends of mine on Facebook. YES, the homeless use social networking!!!

More importantly, Everything I do has the interest of the client FIRST!!! There are MANY agencies who are for the Agency first and NOT the client.

This includes government.

Dafna: Had you ever met or engaged with an individual who was homeless prior to going through your experience?

Scot: NEVER!!!!! I had NO idea what it was like to be homeless.

Dafna: What basic assumptions that you had about homelessness changed in you as a result of your experience and your current position?

Scot: Not to sound cliche but Never judge a book by its cover. And NEVER say NEVER!!! LOL This could happen to anyone. Particularly those with health issues.

Dafna: What message do you hope people who read this take away?

Scot: This is NOT about being homeless or formerly homeless. I’m NOT keen on the tittle “Homeless”. Basically: we are all the same peeps. I LOVE how small our world is becoming. The more we know about each other the more we heal as one. Next time you see someone on the streets look them in the eye and know that you are looking into your own soul.

Dafna: You are so beautiful Scot. I am so happy you have found a way to live your purpose and find your health.

Scot: Come on along for the ride. Life is FUN!

Dafna: Please tell me how people who want to reach out to you can contact you and how we can be a part of the solution.

Scot: I live my life transparently, you can find me all over the web. Mostly I use Facebook. Feel free to email or visit our website smore@homelesshouston.org www.homelesshouston.org, ww.cvm.org

Dafna: Last question: What do you think it is about you that gives you the strength to focus on others and find your health at the same time?

Scot: I don’t know!!!! the weird thing is that the busier I become the more energy I have to help others and the healthier I become!!!! I find my strength in others!!!!

Dafna: Thanks so much for being you Scot!

Scot: Thank You and Make this a Great Day!

Dafna: I did, I spent time with you!

Scot: <Blush>

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My take-aways from my chat with Scot: Open your eyes to all people. Be aware of the options available when you need help. When your life hits a hiccup learn from every experience you have, you may be the one to help everyone else who faces that same hiccup get through the challenge and on the road to a better life. I know that I have learned from my experiences with hardship and I hope I can use them to make your life a little easier.

Always wishing for you a life well lived! Onward and Upward, together.

When I was a young girl I was very influenced by a journalist who went undercover for an extended period of time and lived on the streets to highlight the plight of the homeless in Cincinnati. I was in awe of him and of his nightly commentaries, each it seemed to me, aimed at helping us become better people and to create a better city. This same man became Mayor of our city and after an early end to his role as Mayor he became the host of a talk show host. I was so excited to watch his show because even though he made a very bad, very public choice, I remembered how he inspired me and hoped for that same meaning to be found in his show.

Jerry Springer let me down. I watched his show and literally became sick to my stomach and filled with embarrassment that around the world people would watch this show and believe it in any way represented the American people.

I stopped watching talk shows to avoid that feeling…and as I got older I stopped watching the news because I felt it too gave a very poor representation of who we truly are as a people. I could no longer handle the “if it bleeds it leads mentality.”

Turns out (as I actually know from the wonderful emails I receive from so many of you) that I am not alone. Today I had the honor of chatting via skype with Sumaiya Malik, founder of the Good News Gazette. Sumaiya mines the news outlets for Good News stories and shares them with the rest of us who have wanted to clear our minds of the negative angle stories. She has done the digging for us!

Please meet Sumaiya:

Dafna:

Hi Sumaiya! Thanks so much for chatting with me today. I learned about you when you emailed me and told me about the Good News Gazette. First, How did you come across the Journey and What was the inspiration for the Good News Gazette?

Sumaiya:

I was actually checking out some positive news videos on the CBS News website a couple of weeks ago, and saw the story about you and your journey pop up as a recommended video. I hadn’t seen it before and was intrigued, so I decided to check it out. After watching it, I KNEW I had to get in touch with you to do a story for Good News Gazette! I was so inspired by your journey and the people you met along the way,that I knew it would be a perfect story for Good News Gazette. I launched the site almost a year ago to highlight positive and inspiring news stories that I hoped would help people feel good about reading the news, and your story seemed to be right in line with that

Dafna:

Did something happen in your life that led you to start the GNG? Had you been planning it for a long time?

Sumaiya: In the past I used to do regular “news fasts” to keep my mind free of the negativity that so often creeps in after watching the news. But in the fall of 2008, in the run up to the election, I got sucked back in to a pattern of watching the news again. And then the financial crisis happened and I was “hooked” again, wanting to keep up with the latest news. After the election was over, I found myself getting tired of the negativity again, and contemplated starting another news fast. And then I found a story about a young boy named Brendan Foster, who made it his dying wish to feed the homeless. The story talked about young Brendan’s wish, and all of the people in his community, and ultimately around the country, who helped him see his wish fulfilled.

I was so inspired by Brendan’s selfless desire and by all of the people who joined in to help fulfill his wish, that I wanted to create a website devoted to highlighting positive and inspiring news.

So I taught myself HTML from a few books and got started a few months later

Dafna: What were you doing at the time?

Sumaiya: I had just gotten laid off from my job a few months before I launched the site.

And so focusing on positive news definitely helped me keep my spirits up.

Dafna: What did people say to you when you told them you were going to do this?

Sumaiya: Everyone was REALLY supportive. A number of people told me that they, themselves, had often thought about starting a similar site, but just never got around to it.

Dafna: What do you hope people will gain from visiting your site?

Sumaiya: My primarily goal is that people will leave the site feeling better than they did when they arrived. I really just want to remind people that there’s good out in the world, happening day in and day out, that there are all kinds of people who are striving to make a difference and leave the world a bit better for them having come through it. If the site can even just bring a smile to someone’s face, it makes me feel good to have launched it.

Dafna: How has your life been impacted by your decision to do this?

Sumaiya: I’ve always been a pretty positive person, with a “glass half full” kind of outlook on life. Launching the site has kept me even more mindful of the good that’s happening in the world, and of the impact that ordinary people are making in their communities.

It’s also helped bring me in touch with like-minded people who are committed to holding that positive consciousness about the world, which has been really wonderful.

Dafna: Has there been a particular “like-minded” individual who has given you support/encouragement to move forward? Have you met a particular champion for you?

Sumaiya: My biggest champion has been my boyfriend, Scott. He has been so incredibly supportive ever since I first mentioned my idea to him, and he is such a wonderful “cheerleader” whenever I start to question if I’m on track.

I “met” a woman named Mary McManus during a Blog Talk Radio interview I did a couple of weeks ago who has been incredible.

Even though I’ve only known her a few weeks, she has been introducing me to others who might be inspired by Good News Gazette, and is helping to spread the word. It kind of feels like when you’re on the right track, people just show up to help you on your path.

Dafna: What do you think it is about you, where does it come from, this motivation to share?

Sumaiya: I wish I knew! I just know that it feels good to help others, and so it is something that I enjoy doing.

Dafna: Do you remember the first time you became aware that it feels good to help others?

Sumaiya: It was when I was little. I was always the kid working to support one cause or another, whether it was collecting money for UNICEF on Halloween, or writing letters to my congressman to help save the whales, or walking to raise money for one charity or another.

I have to laugh when I think about it now, but I was always pretty earnest

Dafna: Where did you learn about the causes? Do you remember your first?

Sumaiya: I don’t know if this was my first, but it sticks out. When I was in 5th grade, we had to do oral presentations to the entire class about a subject of our choosing. I picked giant pandas because I thought they were so cute. And then as I did research for my presentation, I realized that they were endangered and the idea of that made me feel horrible. So I would write letters to my congressman and senators, and maybe even the President explaining that they just HAD to do something to help the pandas.

Dafna: In regards to your sending letters to your members of congress and the President about helping the Pandas. Did you ever get ANY responses and if so/if not what impact did that have on you?

Sumaiya: I actually did receive responses from my Congressman’s office and the White House. I remember being so excited at the time as letters came back on official letterhead; I felt so important It was wonderful to know that someone had actually taken the time to read my letter and respond. I’m sure nothing happened beyond that, but at the time I felt like I was not only witnessing democracy in action, but being part of it!

Dafna: As you have collected stories has there been a particular story that has really moved you or changed the way you think about things?

Sumaiya: That’s a tough one because there are so many really great stories. But a few stick out. One is a story about Shams Kareem, a 3 or 4 year old Iraqi girl who was badly injured as a result of a roadside bomb. A journalist for The Times in London did a series of stories about Shams, highlighting her plight and her father’s desire to bring her to the UK for treatment. And Times’ readers stepped up and raised the necessary funds to bring Shams, her father and her aunt to London for treatment, with small children even donating their allowance after they heard of her plight. For me, the story highlighted our common humanity, and the importance of compassion.

Shams went to London and received treatment, often from doctors who donated their services. It was so heartwarming to read about.

Dafna: Do you get responses from readers of the Good New Gazette? Do you know how it is impacting the lives of your readers?

Sumaiya: The feedback I’ve received from readers has been overwhelmingly positive. And sometimes, though I don’t think the readers know it, their feedback comes at exactly the right time with a reminder of why I’m doing this in the first place. For example, last year soon after I launched the site I was getting a bit discouraged that it wasn’t growing as quickly as I would have liked. And then I received an email from a reader who said “your mission is essential,” which was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment to get my motivation back in gear.

A lot of readers simply write to thank me for reminding them of the good in the world, which is just so heartening.

Dafna: How have you changed since you began?

Sumaiya: I think I’ve become much more conscious of how interconnected we all are, and how the stories I’m highlighting on Good News Gazette impact others. I’ve realized how important it is for me to be a positive force in the world, because I see, through the stories on the site, just how people can positively impact the world around them.

Dafna: What is the message you’d like to send the readers of this interview?

Sumaiya: That each person has the ability to “be the change” they wish to see in the world, and that everyone, regardless of their background, can be a force for good in the world if they so choose.

Dafna: Thank you so much for being the change you wish to see! You do provide a desperately needed service!

Any final thoughts?

Sumaiya: Thank you for everything that YOU do! I’m so very glad that we connected.

Dafna: Me too! As you have stated, you meet so many wonderful people by doing this kind of work. It is easy to see the beauty that surrounds us! I can’t wait to share your story today! How can people who read our chat find you?

Sumaiya: They can visit Good News Gazette at www.goodnewsgazette.net, and anyone wishing to contact me directly can simply click on the “Contact Us” link at the bottom of each page on the site.

###

Good News, pre-selected and picked through for your enjoyment. A simple idea which I know makes a difference in the lives of so many. That’s what changes our world, those simple ideas.

I hope you have enjoyed my chat with Sumaiya and I am here ready and listening to help you put your simple idea into action. Check out the Journey Institute site http://journeyinstitute.org and send us your ideas, let us help you take your idea off of the couch and put it into action in YOUR community!

Onward and Upward TOGETHER!!

As I traveled around the country in 2009 one of my goals was to reflect who I really believed we were as an American people. I believed that we were made up of a country of good people. People who not only cared about themselves but cared for their neighbors as well. So often in the media we see reports that reflect our civilization as brutal, thieving, selfish, criminal and uncaring. Certainly there are people who watch and can compartmentalize that part of society as a small part of who we are. Yet, for many people in our country they see nothing that reflects the good of who we are as a people and they begin to believe what they see reflected back to them, the media is their mirror.

My challenge was to create a different mirror. My mirror was to reflect what is good and beautiful and indeed my mirror is filled to brimming over with stories from every corner of our country of people who cared enough to change their lives and make their lives and communities stronger by helping another.

I will preface the next part of my thoughts by saying that I am no movie critic. I generally enjoy the acting, filming, story-lines, costumes etc… in most movies. Last weekend I saw a movie that I would say technically was a good movie. What I did not enjoy was the feeling I was left with when I reflected upon the mirror they were holding up to American society.

The reflection in this mirror included- a corrupt politician, a corrupt police officer, a corrupt military contractor and a country where those who attempt to do good all die or are maimed. I’m sorry, but that’s not my country. Yet, even as I sat there I thought to myself about how power corrupts. I thought about how so many truly believe that the police and the politicians are all corrupt. Is it true? Are some politicians and police corrupt? In some cases, I’m sure. Is it the rule and not the exception? I absolutely do not believe so.

Yet, how often do we hear the stories of corruption in politics? How often do we hear the stories of corruption in the police force? I believe it is so often that there is no room to tell the stories of the hundreds and thousands of others who take roles to save our lives and protect our streets, people who put themselves up for criticism at every turn as they do their best to make laws that will better our lives and bring money to our communities. There is no room for these stories in the mirrors we look at to reflect our society.

I am not here to say that everyone is good. I am however here to say that there are many who are. Perhaps if we start turning our media cameras, our mirrors of our society, onto those who are champions of our nation we will see ourselves as a nation of good and we will live up to that side of the story.

I am working to do my part. I want to keep sharing those stories which reflect what is positive in our society. If you want me to share a story please send it along. I know there are many out there and I dare-say, we need to see them more than ever.

We are a community, America, let’s work together to change the way we view ourselves, the way were are viewed abroad and the way we are viewed in our own neighborhoods. My mirror is available to you whenever you need it. My mirror reflects a beautiful society and a wonderful place to live.

What do you see in your mirror today?

It is always fun for me to meet people via Twitter. A 140 character introduction can be very powerful. Many months ago I received a Tweet from the Seattle Free School and realized the value so immediately “Re-tweeted” the information and web link to all of my followers. Today I had my first opportunity to chat with founder Jessica Dally and am excited to share our conversation.
Be ready to be inspired:

Dafna
Hi Jessica! Thanks so much for chatting with me this afternoon. I first learned about you when I was tweeted to take a look at your website. I was very impressed and am excited to learn about Seattle Free School (SFS) and about you!

Where did the idea to start SFS come from?

Jessica
I basically found the idea elsewhere and then came back only to find it not here yet so made it happen. I was asked a bunch to teach and wanted to be a part of something bigger, more sustainable, then just me travelling all over the place teaching.

When I saw the idea of a free school I wanted to see if it was in seattle as it was clearly exactly what I was looking for; a way to teach but also get something back, a way for me to learn things too!

It wasn’t in seattle already so rather then wait for someone else to make it happen (which would have been my MO in the past) I decided to make it happen… it’s a good project for me as it has lots of moving parts, lots of diffeerent things to work on and thus I keep busy and don’t get bored with it.

We started with a free website and we still to this day ask people to print out and hang flyers for us… if everyone on our 1200 people mailing list did that we’d have seattle covered!

Dafna
One of your key positions as an organization is that you do not accept or use money. Can you explain that?

Jessica
We started without it because it didn’t seem right to raise money at first for something that wasn’t really operational, we didn’t know if the community even wanted it. Then as we moved on we realized that not only did we NOT need it to operate (it would make some things easier but a lot of things harder… we would have to raise money for pay for a person to raise money!) but some aspects of what we do are made easier because we don’t take money. Getting press, getting other people to teach, getting people to help spread the word all of that has been made much easier because we’re odd… because we don’t take money. And because of that people want to help with time instead, not everyone, but a heck of a lot of people.

I had one woman really insistent on giving money. I told her she couldn’t give to Seattle Free School (money at least!) but she could give to the space we were at, which is a small nonprofit called Cascade People’s Center.

That way we take us out of being the middle man.

We don’t raise funds, we don’t pay and then the donated money goes directly to the organizations helping us operate. The Seattle Public Library is another place we tell people to give $$ if they feel really inclined, as we wouldn’t be as viable without them.

By not having money we need less money - as odd as that sounds.

Dafna
What do you hope others will learn from your model?

Jessica
The idea of a free school… the idea of sharing knowledge at least some of it, without the exchange of money, and more globally, that you can start and run a small community organization without funding. That’s the idea I’m working on promoting this year. So many ppl get hung up on the legality and financial concerns of starting a nonprofit

and they either don’t make the change they’d like to see or lose vision with all the technicalities.

Dafna
Since you point out the without funding part, what do you do for your own income?

Jessica
I work a job, this is volunteer for me. I work at Community Voice Mail in the national office here in Seattle.

Dafna
Ahhhh. I interviewed the fouder of the Dallas Community Voice Mail (http://www.50in52journey.com/states/texas6.asp) Great program!

Jessica
Yes, Larry, great guy!
I also work with Tech Soup Global. Tech Soup Global is essentially a clearing house of software, hardware and information (though I’m sure you could get a better definition at their website). They help nonprofits get discounted tech needs basically. So rather then paying for office, you get a discounted version. That’s the idea in a very tiny nutshell

Dafna
How did you know you could start SFS? Technically speaking….

Jessica
I didn’t… I didn’t have any attachment to it’s success… My two big goals were that it wouldn’t fail because I didn’t put effort into it or got bored and that I’d learn something from it. We started without money because I didn’t like the idea of taking money for something that wasn’t proven and eventually learned that it really wasn’t needed.

In my case the idea was a good fit as I like learning and this idea keeps me busy in many different ways.

Dafna
How long has it been going on?

Jessica
Our first class was just under two years ago… March 15th, I think, 2008… the idea started at the end of 2007 early 2008. So a couple of years really.

Dafna
What is your goal for SFS?

Jessica
Honestly there’s no end goal… for me it’s just fun to see what’s possible without funds, without the traditional needs of a regular nonprofit. I’d love to see more classes, more people being sure of themselves enough to share their skills… but really I just enjoy seeing what’s possible, classes getting bigger, people coming to teach even though they don’t know what they want to teach but they want to give back. The spread of classes on twitter. All of it is very exciting and almost every class I teach lately is filled with new people who haven’t been to a class before. Watching that spread is just absolutely amazing but there’s tons more to do… slowly, without money growing quickly can be deadly!

Well, semi slowly… we have 1200+ ppl on our email list already and tons of followers on Twitter.

Dafna
It sounds very exciting!

Jessica
It absolutely is! Our biggest class was 125 people, which is as big as we can get with our current spaces (and really bigger than is good for most classes, though it was fun for everyone to be part of something so huge)! For me, now, I want to spread that excitement, because it’s a powerful agent of change for people, to be empowered.

Dafna
How has your life changed since you started this?

Jessica
Wow, that’s a huge question…when I first started this I didn’t think it would change anything and then one day I realized it was actually something pretty amazing and powerful. One of the huge ways it’s changed me is to make me a TON more confident in speaking, teaching, talking to people.

It’s made me realize that a ton of things are possible if you ignore the naysayers, or at least only give them credit if what they’re saying is really true, which it might be for them, but far too often it doesn’t need to be for you, that the impossible isn’t a heck of a lot of the time.

Knowing and witnessing that people care is amazing. People get and like the idea almost (almost) across the board and their willingness to help is inspriring, it makes me think differently of the world and makes me realize that if you are passionate about something you can indeed make it happen, more often then not.

It’s also made me have to be very creative, to think up other ways to get a task done.

We can’t throw money at a problem, so we have to throw creativity at it, ask for help.

We’ve really never seen a shortage of people willing to help when we’ve had problems, honestly I think that’s partly due to the fact that we don’t take money…people get that idea, and want to give what they can, what they know, their resources (server space, technical assistance, whatever).

It’s fun for me too to just realize that when people say you can’t… you probably can.

A bit of rebellion to authority doesn’t tend to hurt in this type of pursuit…but then I didn’t know it would work, I just figured we’d work out the problems when they actually showed up- and then they didn’t.

Dafna
How have your personal priorities/goals changed?

Jessica
Ah, you know, the biggest thing that’s changed for me is my schedule… I used to think I was so incredibly busy, now I have a ton of free time and I work 2-4 jobs depending on how you look at it, and do this work with Seattle Free School.

Time isn’t as limited as we think but it is a matter of putting what is important first. Scheduling time and getting rid of the stuff that just isn’t that important…that gigantic to do list that we’ve been carrying around for a year… it’s not done yet, seems like no ones gonna die if it never gets done…and eventually you wind up doing what’s important.

Having that list over your head… just isn’t good for the mind I think. If I can’t plan it on my calender then usually it doesn’t belong in my life right now.

It’s also made me realize that maybe I’m not the introvert I thought I was, that I like teaching, I like getting people inspired!

lol

Dafna
Where do you go from here?

Jessica
Well, this year I’ve been very committed to getting the word out to other places, like I said, not just about free schools, but that we can organize communities without money. So to that end I’m hoping for this vote to be selected for the Nonprofit Technology Network “Social Media for Social Good Panel”. You can vote for us here and click five stars please! http://nten.org/node/9118

I am also looking to speak at several different conventions… Seattle Greenfest, Craigslist Foundation Boot Camp…

Dafna
Do you see yourself doing this for the foreseeable future?

Jessica
Yup, I do see myself continuing this for a while at least!

It’s never boring or dull at all. Sometimes I get bored with a specific part but there’s usually volunteers that really love taking that part over which is awesome! How lucky am I that I get to work with great people and do what I want to do with only a bit of have to do’s?

Dafna
What do you hope someone who reads this will take away from it?

Jessica
The biggest thing I’d love to see is small groups in all sorts of communities organizing whatever they want to see for their community. And when they do, knowing that they can make it happen without getting sucked into the funding cycle, at least not right away. Don’t let money get in the way of making the world you want to see.

Dafna
That’s great Jessica! Thank you for spending time chatting with me. Any last thoughts?

Jessica
Don’t think so… you can read a lot more about us on our website and the press area… interestingly enough, the “impossible to get press” idea was just as false as the rest of them… we’ve been written up by most of the print publications in Seattle… lots more info in those posts as well. Thanks so much for giving me the chance to share!

Dafna
How can people find you?

Jessica

www.seattlefreeschool.org

Twitter: http://twitter.com/seafreeschool

and here in facebook http://www.facebook.com/SeattleFreeSchool

###

What have you seen around the country or around the world that you think could work in your community? Don’t wait for someone else to start it, the opportunity is all yours. Change your community, change your life! Need help figuring out how? Seek out Jessica or check out http://journeyinstitute.org and let me help you out!

Onward and upward, TOGETHER!

I am often asked by people who meet me why I spend time on Twitter and Facebook. Sometimes they can understand Facebook, after all half the world is on Facebook depending on what news channel you watch! Yet Twitter, sometimes people just don’t get it. No matter how many times I explain that the connections you make on Twitter are as valuable as connections made “in real life”, for some people the value of my time spent “tweeting” just can not be understood.

My 50 in 52 Journey would not have been nearly as successful without Twitter and the relationships I built through Twitter have carried forward into many “in real life” meetings and some help has been received that one might only expect from more traditional forms of networking.

To show the power of Twitter many have pointed to the sharing of information when tragedies occurred in Mumbai, Tehran or Haiti. Real time information before even the media could get in. Certainly for me this is one of the reasons I use the platform. To bring it to life in real time tangible results I’d like to share the story of a basketball team with no uniforms.

My fiancé’s son attends a brand new charter school in Denver. The school, as all schools in the Denver Public School system, struggles for funding. They started up a basketball team at the request of the students. The parents were thrilled and excitedly packed the gym of a rival school on a recent Friday night to see the debut match.

The rival team was warming up on the court, their brilliant gold uniforms gleaming against the shiny court. We waited for our team to appear. About ten minutes later our team trots out on to the court in mismatched shorts and grey t-shirts with the sleeves cut off. The coaches were frantically taping numbers on the boys’ backs.

The parents sat there quietly listening to the hushed snickers from the other team’s fans and wondered why our team had no uniforms. Being a rather demure woman by nature (sarcasm); I walked over to the coach and asked why the boys had no uniforms. Among other reasons, the primary issue was budget.

We watched the game. I shot some pictures with my phone. I asked the coach if my fiancé and I could explore some options. I knew without a doubt that I could at least get a good price on some uniforms.

With the coach’s approval I sent out 1 tweet, one. I directed it to a man I knew was connected. Terry Bean of Detroit’s Motor City Connect. (You can see the interview I did of Terry after I met him through Twitter here: http://www.50in52journey.com/states/michigan6.asp) I attached the picture and typed “Help! Do you know anyone who can get me a good price on uniforms?” By the end of the evening I was connected with a source. By the following week uniforms were ordered and DONATED to the team by a complete “stranger”. The power of Twitter.

Here is my first Facebook chat with the woman who is the Angel of the Envision Leadership Prep basketball team. It is my honor to introduce you to Stephanie Puertas:

Dafna
Stephanie, Thank you so much for agreeing to chat with me today. I wanted to chat with you about how you and I came to meet. Can you tell the story from your perspective?

Stephanie
My pleasure. I received a “tweet” from a mutual friend in regards to basketball uniforms.
He wanted to know if I could help.

Dafna
What were you thinking when you saw the request?

Stephanie
I wasn’t surprised. We donated shirts for Blood Sweat and Gears this past summer. With the amount of shirts we have printed for our business he knows I have a good relationship with our printer.
We print league shirts and prizes quarterly.

Dafna
Tell me about your organization.

Stephanie
We organize adult sport leagues. 8-10 sports a season, 4 seasons a year, about 2500 that play weekly. We also have happy hours, special events and charitable opportunities.
Stay & Play Social Club www.SPSCdetroit.com

Dafna
Have you ever randomly selected a group to give uniforms to before? And, what about the fact that this group is not in Detroit or Michigan?

Stephanie
We have not. Didn’t cross my mind
We are all here for the same purpose.
To be kind and generous with one another makes the world a better place.
We have donated to local schools since 2001.

Dafna
What led you into this career path and why do you stay?

Stephanie
Funny, it was by chance. My path was an odd one…I worked in sales for 7 years. Enjoyed it, 2 different companies. Then for my family business. It was supposed to be a short time, but ended up being 4 years.
When I left, I took a year off and, by chance I fell into the marketing side of the business. Event planning in October 1995.
I really enjoyed the people.
And, I love sports.

By Feb 1996 I was working full time running soccer and volleyball leagues and working in the office. The people made all the difference for me… yes, the sports were fun but the friendships are what keep me.

I was working for a national company from 1995-2001, headquartered in Chicago. In Jan 2001 they went bankrupt. 2 days later we started Stay & Play, because we wanted the teams to do just that, Stay and Play.

And, they did.

We had our best year in 2009.

Dafna
That’s awesome!

Stephanie
People need to stay connected and we provide an affordable way for them to do so. More about the relationships built than the win/loss records. Since 2001 I have attended 38 Social Club weddings! It is amazing to watch lives change, marriages, children and they still play!

Dafna
What do you think accounts for 2009 being your best year when the rest of Detroit has a different story to tell?

Stephanie
The connections. People want to stay involved, see their friends and take some aggression off on the courts/fields. This winter we are up 27% since last winter. Every season is getting better… and we are thankful.

Dafna
How does it make you feel to give?

Stephanie
Every year, we were involved with Cornerstone Schools and Race for the Cure team since 2002 I believe, we have raised $163,000 as a team.
We are involved with several charities throughout the year. But the Race for the Cure is the one we spend most of our time with.

It feels great. Nothing better. Looking forward to seeing a picture of the boys in their jerseys. I wish I could give more. Especially when it is appreciated. It makes it really easy to donate/give.

Dafna
When I asked you to be interviewed you said you did not think you had done enough to be interviewed. Why do you think that?

Stephanie
I consider myself pretty simple. I just think that what I do is no more than what others would/should do. I try to put others first. Especially since my business is all about customer service.

I like people. Always have

Dafna
Where do you think your dedication to giving and joy of people comes from?

Stephanie
My family. Italian and Spanish. Raised to serve/give. My mother was very generous.
My grandmother was the same way. My family was always self employed, I think my work ethic is tied to the giving attitude.

Dafna
Have you always lived in Detroit?

Stephanie
Yes, except college, at that time I was in Kalamazoo MI.

Dafna
Do you think coming from Detroit has anything to do with who you are as a person?

Stephanie
Good question.
I think the mid west is different, in a good way.
Hard work and good attitude should be everywhere though…

Dafna
What do you hope the boys will learn about this experience when they hear that a woman in Detroit who not only never met them, but never met me, donated their uniforms?

Stephanie
I hope they know regardless of who needs help, that there should be no boundaries. We give when we can, even when we have little to give.

Dafna
You are a wonderful woman Stephanie and I truly can not thank you enough for what you have given these boys
It is far more than just uniforms.

Stephanie
I am so thankful for the opportunity.
We all need reminders about giving …and I may be out there someday, you never know!

Dafna
I hope you are out here so we can thank you appropriately!
One last quick question

Stephanie
Sure

Dafna
My tweet for help asked for a good price, not a donation, why did you go that extra step?

Stephanie
I went back and forth trying to decide if I should. I didn’t want to offend you when I said it was my pleasure… that was my concern. But, when I got a good price, I felt funny asking… not sure why. I just knew I wanted to give the gift.
And, it feels great to give.
I do look forward to seeing a picture of the team.
I’m glad I had the opportunity to give the gift. Thank you.

Dafna
It made a very big difference to us and to the school.

Stephanie
I understand.
Uniforms are very important!
###

Uniforms are very important. The team just received them today. My inside source (fiancé’s son) has reported that the team is excited, they feel that now they can increase the school’s spirit around the games and show the rest of the DPS system that they are not just some “new kid on the block” they are a real team with real athletes. While he does not think it will make them play better he does believe it will strengthen their connection as a team. Isn’t that what life is all about?

This uplifting experience for the team and for the school was brought about by a completely unknown woman to them. If that is not what life is all about I don’t know what is?

Any more questions as to why I use Twitter? Here’s my question, why don’t you?

You can find Stephanie at: http://www.SPSCdetroit.com

How many times have you woken up from a dream and had a vivid recollection of what you were doing, how you felt and how you touched the people in your dream. I have had that feeling and I will lay there with my head still on the pillow and try to savor the moment and the feeling. Nancy Cantor had one of those dreams and instead of leaving it on the pillow she started the Dream Factory Community. I invited Nancy to chat with me (her first Facebook chat ever) and tell me about the Dream Factory Community and how it came to be. Here’s our chat:

Dafna
Hi Nancy! Thank you so much for chatting with me this afternoon. You posted on my fan page wall a while back about some people you have worked with through the Dream Factory. Well I have been dying to learn more about YOU ever since I read your wall post. Please tell me what the Dream Factory Community is.

Nancy
The Dream Factory Community is an educational organization here in Metro West Boston that supports women in taking on their lives, their work, and their world. It provides a community-based structure for living your dreams.

Dafna
How did you become involved with The Dream Factory Community?

Nancy
I invented it in 2004. I had a coaching/consulting practice and hosted Women in Business Luncheons every month–but then I literally I had a dream–and I was answering the phone saying,”Dream Factory”. That began the quest to figure out what it was.

Dafna
That’s great Nancy! How did you take it from Dream to Reality?

Nancy
During my quest, I created a co-venture with a friend, Carol Madsen, which was a trip to Ecuador. We called it Dream Beyond the Dream and it was about entrepreneurs here, helping entrepreneurs in Ecuador. We met with lots of people and stayed for 3 days in the rainforest.  When I returned–I contemplated my experience and was really impressed with the communal aspect of the villages. It was then I decided that the Dream Factory was a community.
Soon I started having my clients join and the Dream Factory Community was born!!

Dafna
Who was your first community member when you became The Dream Factory Community officially?

Nancy
My three oldest members who are still participating are Carol Madsen, who I went to Ecuador with, Pat Rainville and Dot Mitchell.

Their Dreams:
Carol wanted to help people in the rainforest—with education, support with fair-trade chocolate manufacturing, and promoting eco-tourism.
Pat is an Angel Therapist who wanted to expand her business–she has since developed many programs and does a monthly Circle of Angels.
Dot is an RN, who wanted to expand her Laser Skin Care business. She does workshops on self-esteem and travels to support people in need.

Dafna
How did you know what direction to lead them in to fulfill their dreams? How did you get them to articulate them fully?

Nancy
I do a one-day workshop with everyone who joins the Dream Factory called CDO Training (Chief Dream Officer). It is during this workshop that participants develop the Visionary, the Organizer, the Self-Transformer and the Community Leader. Each person does the work to clarify the Dream (purpose/vision), create goals and a plan, do an exercise that disarms their saboteur, and think in terms of community to fulfill their plan.

The training and the community give people the structure and the space to get clear and in action.

Dafna
Wow! It sounds like a completely uplifting experience. How do the women respond? And, why did you choose to make it specifically for women?

Nancy
I did a group that got rave reviews and when asked what made it so great–they responded that it was because it was only women. Also, women do have a relational way about them and tend to want to be in community. I am leading some men’s groups too, there is a need for them as well.

What has the Dream Factory Community be uplifting is that the members connect around their dreams. They support one another and encourage each other to move forward.

Dafna
When you think about your career, did you ever imagine that this is what you would be doing?

Nancy
I started in education–special education and was on a team that created an alternative high school. I feel that I have been on a path for a long time–I am always helping people to succeed–to fulfill their dreams.
My high school students wanted to graduate high school. My members want to live their personal and professional dreams.
I love to design programs that support people’s aspirations. The Dream Factory concept was given to me–so that I could impact many people–beyond what I personally can do. The goal is to have them all over the country and the world–they work, and they help people succeed and I want more people to have this opportunity.

Dafna
How have you changed since the night of your dream?

Nancy
Since my Dream—I am learning what it takes to fulfill one.  It takes commitment, action, and willingness to go through the next developmental stage.

Now-I am learning to give it away. It seemed very personal at the beginning-my dream–my idea–and my business. Now we have Prosperity Circles that people can attend after the CDO Training that are led by members. We have a Conference/Retreat every year that is delivered by members. The speakers at the luncheons are all members. It is becoming less and less about me and more focused on the members’ expression. I have to keep taking my ego out of it to make that possible.

Dafna
As the person who helps so many and escorts them onto the road of living their dreams, who escorts you?

Nancy
Great question–I find that if there is the right balance that we all escort one another–I am a member of the Dream Factory Community. There is a lot of wisdom in a collective.

Dafna
Why do you think the dream came to you and at the time it did? Have you analyzed what else was going on in your life at that time? Is this even something you think about?

Nancy
It came at a time when I wanted to grow my business–and was putting together practical workshops on business information that entrepreneurs need. The trip to Ecuador got created in the middle of all of that so I got side-tracked into a much more spiritual direction.
It was also a time when my mother was getting ready to pass.
The Dream Factory has become my vehicle for leaving a legacy–beyond just my good work–but something that could live beyond me. My mother’s desires to do that–inspired my interest that as well.

Dafna
I’m so sorry about the loss of your mother. Would you be comfortable sharing how she communicated her desire to leave a legacy that lived beyond her?

Nancy
At the end of her life, my mom, Martha, told me she wanted to be famous.  I asked,” for what?” She said—for making a difference. I showed her a picture of herself on the front of the local newspaper. She was called the Weekly Reader–she read to kids in the school library until she was 86 years old. After she died, my sister, Ellen and I created the Martha Marko Memorial Fund at the local school to fund book purchases. Then the librarian, Karen, created a read-a-thon with the proceeds going into the fund. Many books have been bought with this fund and they all have a book plate with my mom’s picture on it. Her love of books and sharing reading with kids can now live on.  That is what she wanted to be famous for!!

Dafna
How wonderful to have such a famous mom!
What is your message to people who have a dream?

Nancy
Discover your dreams.  We don’t have a culture that necessarily encourages that.  When you find yours; trust it, honor it, and share it.  Allow your dream, and the fulfillment of it, to support you in living a life of your dreams.
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Nancy has figured out how to trust, share and live her dream and I hope she has inspired you to do the same. If you would like to learn more about Nancy and the Dream Factory Community, visit http://dreamfactorycommunity.com you can also become a fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dream-Factory-Community/156719719350  or on Twitter: http://twitter.com/NancyCan